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HOW TO SOLVE TNA'S SUICIDE DILEMMA

Hey everyone and welcome to another chapter of Zach's How To Guide. Thanks to those who commented on my Royal Rumble column from last week. I'm 9-9 with picks, and only 21 more to go! I'm starting to get the feeling that the JBL-Michaels grudge match I have pegged at the big show will be for the title in the main event, especially with Michaels calling himself Mr. Wrestlemania and JBL commenting about how he wants to headline the big show, being a Texan.

Enough WWE talk though. For Chapter 9 of my column, I'm heading down to Orlando and giving some sagely advice to the six sided superstars of TNA. Recently they released their very own video game, and with it a character called Suicide [By the way, TNA has superstars called Suicide and Homicide and WWE has Kizarny and the Boogeyman. See a difference?]

Now for those of you following the situation, Frankie "Kaz" Kazarian played the man in the red skulled jumpsuit. Recently he injured himself though, getting put on the shelf for I believe four months. This causes a bit of a problem in TNA though as Suicide has had vignettes dating back to I feel like the Nashville days. Recently he has been the "superhero" of TNA, standing up to the Motor City Machineguns, Sheik Bashir and Awesome Kong, before this injury ended things prematurely.

So…do we go Fake Kane and Judias Mesias route and just chuck the character after months of buildup and weeks of action, or do we build on this situation and make lemonade out of lemons? Let's give it a shot.

My first idea would be to bring in Paul London and put him in the costume. Sure he is a little smaller, but they have a lot of the same moves and even look somewhat similar. Rumors are that he wants to take a break for a while though, and that's a shame as he really was one of those talents I think the WWE missed the boat on.

Other rumors have Chris Daniels taking over the Suicide reigns. Been there, done that, and I liked it a lot better when he was pulling fake curry out of his hat thank you very much. Let him be as is and join up with the Frontline.

Here is the route I would take Suicide….have him be filled by guys like Jay Lethal, Homicide, Eric Young, basically any face on the TNA roster. My idea would be to turn Suicide into a character who stands up for good and can be inhabited by any wrestler on the roster. Here is a quick sample. 

1. Lets say we have Beer Money in the ring with Taylor Wilde. They bully her and look like they will soon take the upper hand. She grabs a flashlight from under the ring that shines a big S on the screen. Before you know it, Suicide flies down to the ring and whoops Beer Money Inc. Don West notices he looks bigger than usual, Suicide unmasks and it's Hernandez in his stead.
2. Sheik Abdul Bashir is beating the holy hell out of Eric Young in the middle of the ring after a mixed tag match including Kong and Hemme. Christy shines the light on the screen for the big S, and Suicide swoops in completely wrecking Bashir. He unmasks and its referee Shane Sewell.
3. Kong then gets the upper hand on Hemme and Young gets to roll out of the ring. He grabs the flashlight, shines it, and another Suicide repels to the ring. The masked grappler beats up Kong and Saied, slaps their rear end, and swigs a flask. ODB reveals herself as this version of Suicide and Don West does what he does best, yells You Have Got To Be Kiddin' Me!!!

So I say why end the gimmick when you can have some fun with it. I feel like this is how Super Eric Young was supposed to be portrayed.

Hope you all enjoyed the column. Loved it, hated it, or felt nothing but complete apathy, shoot me an email at zachlevine86@gmail.com.

Stay tuned for Chapter 10 – How to reintroduce Gail Kim to the WWE…