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THE FUN HOUSE MIRROR ISSUE 25

Welcome back to the Fun House Mirror, where we look at a reality television show that wants to look like a MMA show but often looks like a bad pro wrestling show, and American wrestling companies who think that they are Mexican wrestling companies.

This we get to look forward to a tag team tournament match on Lucha Libre USA and an elimination on NXT.

Since only one person from the original NXT season is not being featured every week on RAW, one would think there would be less of an emotional impact to the eliminations.  However, WWE has been smart about this problem by not mentioning Titus O'Neil at all in the last three weeks and not mentioning Eli Cottonwood last week.

WWE still has another problem on the horizon.  Husky Harris is a much stronger worker than Lucky Cannon and Percy Watson but is a heel so he is in more danger of being eliminated from the fans than the baby faces are.  Also, while the fans are somewhat buying Michael McGillicutty as a baby face, Michael continues to pal around with the arch heel Harris.

I think it is interesting that Lucha Libre USA has a long running angle that would be affected by high profile legal court decisions, and these decisions have nothing to do with drugs ...

Last week we had an AMAZING surprise at the end of the show.  What surprises await us today?  Let's click the remote and find out:

We start with what looks like an avant garde movie as the luchadors in masks, make up, and formal attire play poker at a casino.

Rebecca Reyes is also there and she gets comments from Magno about the immigration law angle.  Magno says that R.J. is not going to get away with telling him and his friends how to act.

One of the poker games ends in controversy as Perqueno Halloween leaves in a huff and then slaps the butt of Rebecca Reyes as he passes her.

Is Rebecca going to be a manager?

Will the WWE counter this by having Ashley Valence's butt slapped?

Que pasa indeed!

We kick off the show with a recap of Magno vs R. J. (Mr. SB 1070) Brewer.

With the stage set, we're ready for Brewer vs Magno.

As it was last week, we have a four sided ring again this week.

They have another great match.  After a ref bump, R. J. stops an attempted Hurracarana with a low blow.  However, when R. J. tries to get the referee to turn around and count three he gets rolled up school boy style for the three count.  R. J. (AKA Northeast Indy worker John Walters) continues to impress as a heat magnet and a worker.

In a prerecorded vignette we learn that Solid is slightly depressed, not knowing how to get his revenge on Sydistiko and Lizmark Jr.

Six man action is next as the rudos Perqueno "butt slapper" Halloween, Saber Claw and Neutronic (captain) take on the technico team of the PR Powers (San Juan Kid (captain) and PR Flyer) and Mascarita Dorada (who shows off his mini heat by being escorted to the ring by two hotties). 

We find out that Rebecca is from Puerto Rico.

The internet informs me that the PR Flyers are Aeroform without their masks.

This match is your typical lucha madness with lots of dives to the outside including a 630 from the top turn buckle to the outside and a chair assisted Mini tope con hilo.

The end sees the San Juan Kid pin Neutronic after a corkscrew somersault splash off the top turn buckle into the ring.

We then get some cheesy footage of a "psychiatric evaluation" of Sydistiko.

Rebecca then interviews Mascara Purpura about his goals for Lucha Libre USA.

They are interrupted by Super Nova who is in the ring and calling out Sydistiko.  He gives Sydistiko ten seconds to get out to the ring or Nova will come get him.  Sydistiko does not come out.

It's time for the main event as El Oriental teams with Tinieblas Jr. to go against Marco Corelone and Lujo Esquire.  We find out that El Oriental wants to make Marco and Lujo his slaves.

Lujo comes out with two babes in tow.  Marco comes out with Solid (who weighs at lot more than the two babes together).

The rudos get the upper hand early, but then Nova and Sydistiko come brawling out of the back.  They brawl up to a balcony where Nova nails Sydistiko with a senton off a ladder.

Then Rellik and Lizmark Jr. come down to ringside.  Rellik holds Solid for a dive by El Oriental, but they are met by a follow up dive by El Lujo.  Marco also tries a dive but he is distracted by Lizmark.  This allows Tinieblas to hit a bicycle kick and score the pin with a jackknife roll up.

So Treachery screws Marco and Lujo out of their chance to advance in the tournament.

So what will NXT respond with?  Three minutes of wrestling, a stupid looking challenge for immunity and a lot of amateur promos?

Let's fire up the praxinoscope and find out:

We start hot(?) with Matt Striker explaining the new rookie challenge: "the power of the punch" a machine that supposedly measures how hard you hit.  It looks like some arcade game.

Michael Cole demonstrates the machine, decked out with an "I'm Awesome" t-shirt, a fake title belt, sunglasses and power drink.  At first I thought it was The Miz, but the Miz isn't as buff.

After throwing some talcum powder and going through some other histrionics, Cole scores a 728.  Josh Mathews follows and casually hits the bag scoring an 808.  Cole walks off dejected.

Will Percy Watson prove that he is "a heavy hitter and not a quitter"?  Will this play into the strengths of Husky Harris?  Will Lo Ki be allowed to kick the bag?

In hindsight, it's obvious that this season should have been arranged differently.  If the fans get fifty percent of the vote then this should have been an all baby face season.  Then they wouldn't need any artificial gimmicks or weird booking to "protect" people they want to keep on the show.

But, they didn't and now they have to, which is why we get weird challenges like this.

Some skinny blond with a pair of boobs introduces the Pros and Rookies who come to the stage.

M.V.P. looks like he has found his smile again.

Lucky Cannon comes out alone to sell the Nexus beat down of Mark Henry the night before.  Lucky doesn't have a "Fat Chick Thrilla" t-shirt so be had better be able to punch or he is going home.

The season finale is in three weeks.  That's five eliminations in three weeks.  Four in two weeks if this week has only one.

We start off with the Rookie Challenge.  The prize this week is not immunity but a solo appearance on RAW.

Michael McGillicutty starts us off.  He throws a hay maker and scores 863.

Kaval throws a kick and only scores a 297.  He also gets disqualified for using a kick instead of a punch.

Percy Watson throws a punch without really pivoting his body and only scores a 716, failing to beat either announcer.

Lucky Cannon doesn't get lucky as his clumsy looking punch only scores 744.

Husky is next and he looks confident.  He's probably punched someone before in real life, unlike some of the other rookies.  However, his punch does not land straight on and he only scores 380.

I'm inclined to think "work" at this point as someone as big as Harris should scored higher with the shock wave even if he missed completely.

Last up is A-Ri.  He gets a running start and scores a 896.

Work.

During the commercial they run an angle to set up a match between John Morrison and The Miz revolving around whether or not The Miz should join Team WWE against the NEXUS at Summerslam.

Will this be another show where the season two rookies are visitors on their own show?

We then get a return match from RAW as Kaval, Lucky Cannon and Percy Watson face off against Husky Harris, A-Ri, and Michael McGillicutty.

Percy Watson come up with an innovative move.  When A-Ri catches himself on the ropes Percy gives him an enzuigiri which causes A-Ri to bump to the floor.

Later Lucky Cannon does a running dive over the top rope to the floor, but his lucha skills are weak and it looks like he hits his head on the floor on the landing.

Kaval wins, pinning Michael McGillicutty with the Warrior's Way (double stomp from the top turn buckle).

We then get some hard sell for Summerslam (which is this weekend so I guess they gotta do what they gotta do).

They cover the Nexus vs WWE angle in depth.

Next up a Rookie verses sort of Pro as The Miz takes on John Morrison.

Morrison comes out to his usual slow motion effect entrance.

The Miz wins the match but does absolutely nothing of note during the match.  Morrison tries hard to carry The Miz but some people are just too bad to be carried.

After this one star match, we are ready for the the elimination.

But, before the poll, we find out who the rookies think should be eliminated:

Michael McGillicutty: Lucky Cannon

Kaval: Lucky Cannon

Percy Watson: Alex Riley (even though everyone has been doing a good job)

Lucky Cannon: Everyone else

Husky Harris: Lucky Cannon

Alex Riley: Michael McGillicutty

And now for the poll results:

1) Kaval - His pin on McGillicutty puts him over the top?

2) Michael McGillicutty - still hanging tough after his first two loses.

3) Percy Watson - Did the enzuigiri put him back past A-Ri?

4) Husky Harris - Finally, the round mound of ground and pound escapes the final two!

So it's Alex Riley and Lucky Cannon taking the "step forward" of destiny.

5) Alex Riley

6) Lucky Cannon

So the fat chick thrilla goes home.

Lucky then cuts a promo burying his fellow contestants.  Then he follows the code of honor and shakes everyone's hand except for Harris who blows him off.

Alex Riley then cuts a promo saying that he won't change what he is doing even though he fell from number three to number five.

Matt then drops the news that TWO people go home next week.

And, now for some REAL wrasslin'.

On the Podcast A-go-go we finish up the first round coverage of King of Trios.

In the first match we have The Future is Now (Jigsaw, Equinox, and Helios) taking on the Jackson 3 (The Young Bucks (Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson) and their younger brother Malachi Jackson).

We get a clip from this match as the six combatants run through a series of offensives moves ending with Helios hitting a handspring back flip over the top rope to the floor onto the three Jacksons.  Unlike any other promotion, this exchange doesn't look contrived.

The second match finds Aeroform on a second show this week as Flip Kendrick and Louis Lyndon team with Johnny (the bee's knees) Gargano to take on The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Green Ant).

Here we get the conclusion of the match which saw Fire Ant use the Beach Break on Flip Kendrick to get the win.  This match also featured many no contrived looking multiple man attacks and counters.

The final score?  While we might be Lucky that Cannon is no longer on the show, we still had to endure a talentless non-wrestler being shoved down our throats.

So Lucha Libre USA easily slays NXT this week.  And, LLUSA also edges out Chikara this week for mini butt slapping (a trick that might have been inspired from the podcast A-go-go two weeks ago where Cuije was taking liberties with the posterior region of El Hijo del Ice Cream).

Next week, two people going home on NXT.