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If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
The “Na-Na-Na-Na” segment went about five minutes too long.
I wonder what’s more degrading for the guys in matches against “The Funkasaurus,” the fact that they’re not even important enough for their entrance to be shown on a two-hour TV show, or the fact that they’re losing to a joke in 2-3 moves that don’t even look like they hurt.
So the big champion vs champion match they’ve talked about being so important and the first time it’s ever happened isn’t even the most important thing on this one show?
Am I really hearing a commentator say “How would you like to be a defenseless banana?” during a really good wrestling match instead of the commentators talking about the really good match?
Who is this “Little Jimmy” that’s dominating the conversation during the match between the West African guy and the guy from “The Real World?” Although if “Little Jimmy” really said that the loud announcer talks too much, I agree with him whole-heartedly.
Lucky thing the guy in jorts was waiting right behind the curtain with his music cued up when the masked guy started to attack that chick in the ring.
So the guy in jorts hates the masked guy so much that he stopped to grab a microphone and talk to the crowd before putting him through a table?
Who’s supposed to be the most important person on the show, the loud announcer guy who does nothing but talk about himself or the general manager guy who’s been in about ten segments on this one show?
If, as the GM says, the RAW ratings are up from a year ago, just how awful was this show a year ago?
Maybe the show wouldn’t run until 11:17 if there weren’t so many excessively long gratuitous talking segments where nothing happened and nothing important was said.
Friday Night Smackdown
So it’s okay for the General Manager to put his hands on the “Hall of Pain” guy when he poked him repeatedly, but when the “Hall of Pain” guy flips the GM’s tie, he’s suspended indefinitely for putting his hands on the GM? That doesn’t seem very fair.
Did the GM really just tell the Scottish guy that “There’s nothing worse than predictable television?” Irony much?
What the hell does “Shucky Ducky” mean?
So all these announcers have talked about how the old guy with the board is too old to be in a wrestling ring, yet not only is he in the ring, he is presented as the best of the four guys in the match and the tag team champions run away from him even though they have a 2 on 1 advantage? Makes sense to me.
Why are people booing the champion just for being a vegan? What’s wrong with that?
Why is the big guy in the camouflage singlet walking casually to the ring with a big goofy smile on his face when the guy in the ring just talked all kinds of crap about him?
If falling down stairs is a career-threatening injury, why was the Viper guy only out two months? Doesn’t seem very career-threatening to me.
IMPACT Wrestling
This show is really coming off as a huge event being at Wembley in front of such a huge crowd that’s so into everything on the show.
What was the point of having the hot redhead announce the participants in the “Buckingham Brawl” match, but then having some other guy come in to explain the rules? Did the hot redhead not understand the rules well enough to explain them? I mean they were pretty stupid, so I could understand that.
Why am I watching an entire cell phone conversation take place in the middle of the ring?
How come almost none of these matches have finishes that involve interference, cheating, or some other form of shenanigans? It really takes a lot away from them and ends up making nobody look good and everyone look bad.
Okay every time the white-haired guy is talking with his kid about who his trainer is the crowd chants “Hogan.” They’ve announced many times that Hulk Hogan will be at the show tonight. They still haven’t announced who the kid’s trainer is with a half hour left on the show and we haven’t seen Hulk Hogan yet. How stupid would you have to be to not be able to predict that Hulk Hogan is the kid’s trainer. TNA really needs to work on their surprises.
Wow, Hogan looks REALLY old. He doesn’t look like he should be training anybody in any physical activity. And I really hope he’s not serious about being the company hood ornament and leading them to greatness because he’s been the least entertaining thing on this entire show.
A “Star Wars” edition of a wrestling show sounds like a terribly stupid idea, but it could have a certain train wreck appeal to it, too.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
So the Dominant Male guy wants better competition, but to get it he has to have some prince guy and a corporate lawyer behind him? Why doesn’t he just talk to the general manager guy and ask like everyone else?
Does the world champion guy really have that haircut little kids get where you have the stair-steps buzzed into the side of your temples? I had that haircut when I was six. Not that I’d make fun of it to his face, because I’m pretty sure he could beat the crap out of me with one hand and both feet tied behind his back.
They just made a specific thank you to fans in the Cincinnati and Dayton areas. That was a nice gesture and as someone from the Dayton area I like that.
Speaking of Cincinnati, I like that they’re showing me who they have in matches at their upcoming Cincinnati show and they’re doing interviews about that specific show. Makes me want to go to that show because they’re acting like it’s an important show.
Ok I have to admit that the “Willie Wonka” chant for the guy with his hair sticking out the top of his open top hat made me laugh because I was just thinking the same thing.
They spend an awful lot of time with backstage segments, but at least they’re telling me about the wrestlers and getting me more emotionally invested in them, instead of showing inane comedy segments that bore me.
ROH definitely has the best tag team wrestling on TV.
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Monday Night RAW.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 0 Most 1 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 0 Most 1 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 2 Most 0 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 0 Most 0 Least
