Want more wrestling news, rumors, and results? Be sure to visit PWInsider.com and PWInsiderXtra.com.
If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
Does a debate between whether or not the world heavyweight champion loves his girlfriend really belong on a wrestling show?
So is this scene from last week with the NASCAR driver doing donuts in the parking lot a recap of last week, or did they forget to include it because it was so unimportant?
Does the guy with the Christmas lights on his jacket realize how ridiculous he looks with them still flashing when the arena lights are back on?
I’m glad they showed me this video to show me that only little kids care about the guy in the jorts so I make sure I don’t get behind him.
I love how after the women’s tag match they showed a shot of the crowd and literally everyone in the shot was staring into space looking incredibly bored, which is ironically how I looked after watching that segment as well.
This show was actually pretty good overall and then they completely killed my good feelings about it going from a good match to the guy in the mask talking about “Embrace the Hate.”
And is this “Embrace the Hate” stuff some kind of promotional tie-in for Star Wars? Because if not it’s just…awful.
Friday Night Smackdown
Do these guys know that looking right into the camera instead of looking at the person you’re supposedly talking to just makes this look like bad Shakespearian theatre?
This big Indian guy can barely walk, why is he wrestling? And more importantly, why is a company wasting air time showing a man wrestling when he can barely walk?
The announcer with the dreadlocks says “Alicia’s on her way to being a future champion.” Then the loud announcer says “She’s already been a champion.” Why the hell are they pointing out that even their own announcers don’t watch this crap?
It has nothing to do with Smackdown, but I love SyFy’s commercial for their “original” movie “Jules Verne’s The Mysterious Island” that just happens to come out the same weekend that “Journey 2 the Mysterious Island” hits theatres.
Why does the loud announcer keep pronouncing the word “harrowing” as if it were spelled “horrowing?”
So are they leading up to a match between the loud announcer and the champion’s girlfriend? If they are, it couldn’t be any worse than this segment.
So the WWE magazine has an article about the Mexican guy with the doo-rag and wifebeater who rides a low-rider bike to the ring, and in said article there is a picture of him doing a mug shot pose? Yeah, nobody will find that offensive.
IMPACT Wrestling
So after the tall British guy said he wasn’t in the UK and then yelled “THIS…IS…ENGLAND!” shouldn’t he have kicked someone into a pit?
So Hulk Hogan was talking to the general manager guy literally two feet in front of a camera for about ten minutes, then all of a sudden decided they needed some alone time so he gets mad that there’s a cameraman right there who hasn’t moved in ten minutes? Is he just really unobservant and didn’t notice them?
This show overall has been really good, but Hulk Hogan just kills all the momentum every time he gets on screen with his corny overacting and 80’s dialogue. And how many segments does he need to be in? The world title stuff is far more interesting, but Hogan has been in more segments telling everyone how they need to start cheering for the other old guy’s kid as if they were cheering for him. Why can’t you just put everyone out there, and let the audience cheer for whoever is the most entertaining, rather than having to tell them to cheer for some guy’s kid for no reason?
Why did the announcer just remind us that Spike TV airs all the Star Wars movies on free TV like eight times a week, then tell us to make sure to pay to go see them in the theatre?
What the hell does “Let the pigeons loose” mean?
Did the announcer just compare the pigeon chick to “Princess Layla?”
Why is the bully guy saying that if he won the world heavyweight title, it would piss off the entire wrestling community? I think that would be interesting because he’s the most entertaining guy on the show. In fact, I think I’d rather see a match between just him and the world heavyweight champion than the 4-way match they’ve announced for the PPV.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
So the “Prodigy” guy was so weakened in his match that he couldn’t even fall backwards on his own and he needed his girlfriend to push him over to fall on his opponent to get the pin?
This fat, scraggly dude doesn’t look nearly as tough as they’re making him out to be. He just looks like a loud-mouth who needs a good old-fashioned schoolyard ass-whooping to shut him up.
The GM guy looks like a really pissed off version of my grandfather. I keep waiting for him to tell the fat scraggly dude to get the hell off his lawn and take his damn rap music with him.
Why exactly are the fans booing the GM outlawing dangerous moves where a guy gets dropped on his head? That seems like common sense to me.
And did the GM just say that he feels like a “victim of terrorism” because the fat scraggly dude insulted him and then a wrestling match happened that he hadn’t planned? That seems like a really insensitive thing to say considering how many people have suffered because of actual terrorism.
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 0 Most 1 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 0 Most 2 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 3 Most 0 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 0 Most 0 Least
