Want more wrestling news, rumors, and results? Be sure to visit PWInsider.com and PWInsiderXtra.com.
If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
This guy with the gray beard and cowboy hat is REALLY long-winded.
I wonder if Dwayne Johnson got a littering fine for throwing all that crap in the water.
Wait a minute. So the Jersey Shore guy went to the ring to tell the Ho-ski that he didn’t want to hear what she had to say. Then, when she went to find him backstage, he waited up to listen to what she had to say. And then he made out with her and got a big stupid grin on his face. Um…what?
The guy in the jorts talking to himself in an empty arena is kind of weird and creepy.
And is he implying that I should feel bad for the New England Patriots for their failure of going 18-1 a few years back when they’ve been in 5 Super Bowls (winning 3 of them) in the last decade? What a joke. As a Detroit Lions fan, I recently suffered through an entire 0-16 season. I would kill for the kind of “failure” the Patriots have had of late.
Wow, Dwayne Johnson can even get people to chant along with a pre-recorded video of him.
So the guy in jorts even gets booed in his hometown? Nice. And why is he the main focus of the show again?
Friday Night Smackdown
Am I the only one who thinks that asking a referee to open the door so you can walk out is a very anti-climactic way to win a cage match?
Wow, the same guy lost twice in one week to a little goofy guy with a green sock on his arm. He must REALLY suck.
So if both GMs are on both WWE shows, and most of the same wrestlers are on both shows, and they even repeat some of the same matches on both shows, then what is the point in pretending there’s a big difference between the two shows? Except for, of course, the many RAW recaps that appear on Smackdown, making it clear which one is the “A” show and which one is the “B” show.
So in the first hour on this show we had a match with a guy with a green sock on his arm, a guy beating up a midget, and a GM vs GM match that consisted of exactly one move. Feels like a waste of one-fourth of your company’s weekly TV time to me.
IMPACT Wrestling
Good thing to know this episode is going to be all about this douchey-looking kid with his name on his chest who’s feuding with his daddy.
But at least they also have a guy randomly talking to himself in a mirror while smearing shoe polish on his face.
How is it that a man receives a title shot for a championship specifically reserved for women?
Doesn’t the X-Division champ kind of have a point about putting a title match on free TV instead of making it an attraction on a PPV? And he probably also could’ve mentioned how ridiculous it is to have a PPV-level match buried in the middle of the show while the douchey-looking kid with his name on his chest is in the main event.
Why is the guy with the hairspray happy about winning his title match via disqualification? I thought the whole goal of being in a title match was to win the title, which he didn’t do.
So if you’re looking for your brother, you can mosey into really hot chicks’ dressing rooms with no questions asked? Sounds like a great deal. Come to think of it…I haven’t seen my brother in a few months either…show me to the hot chicks’ dressing rooms!
And I wonder if any other skeptical people did a quick wiki search of the missing wrestler to check for his real name and noticed that one of the ring names he’s used is the name his “brother” is using now.
So not only is the match with the douchey-looking kid with his name on his chest more important than the X-division title match, but it’s more important than the World Heavyweight Champion’s match?
I wonder if the people making this show noticed that after the father-son drama, the missing-brother drama, the shoe polish smearing, and the proposal, the biggest spontaneous cheer of the night happened when the Bully guy said “Take your belt off and get ready to fight.”
So when people say the word “ass” they bleep it. But when someone says “Asshole,” it’s okay?
Interesting, when you hear cheers for the actual wrestlers, you can actually see the crowd cheering. But when you hear the crowd going crazy for the old guys and the douchey-looking kid with his name on his chest, they barely show the crowd, because when they do, the crowd appears to all be sitting on their hands looking bored.
Why are the announcers going out of their way to tell everyone what a piece of crap the douchey-looking kid’s dad is? Isn’t he with this company? Why would you make sure to tell people you hired a piece of crap that nobody likes?
Wow, the douchey-looking kid with his name on his chest is a really, really, REALLY terrible wrestler that makes the whole thing look incredibly fake. I wish my daddy worked for a wrestling company so I could get on a TV main event with no charisma or talent whatsoever.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
It must be difficult for that “Prodigy” guy knowing nobody’s paying attention to him because they’re all paying attention to his smoking hot redhead girlfriend.
There’s an awful lot of non-wrestlers accompanying wrestlers to the ring on this show. The “prodigy” guy has his hot girlfriend and the Rocky trainer parody, and the “Dominant Male” has four different people with him. Seems like a lot of extra people taking up payroll to me.
Does ROH have one generic band that records all their entrance music? All the themes sound exactly the same unless they have some voiceover effect at the beginning.
Um, so in the introductions for the main event, while each participant was being announced there was a brown line across the screen that I assume was supposed to have their name, except it was blank. Don’t they do any editing for this show?
Speaking of editing, the volume seems to keep getting quieter as the show goes along.
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch Monday Night RAW.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 2 Most 3 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 1 Most 4 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 4 Most 0 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 0 Most 0 Least
