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If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
So the WWE title match opened the show and the challenger didn’t even get his entrance shown on TV? That seems to make the match a lot less important.
This “You’re a drunk,” “No I’m not,” back and forth is incredibly boring and drawn out, but at least we got a “fish and chips” crowd chant out of it.
I would be able to take Brock Lesnar’s comments about “legitimizing the business” a little more seriously if his interview weren’t sandwiched in between a guy pretending to be Sherlock Holmes and a Jersey Shore wannabe.
Okay this “YES” stuff just plain cracks me up.
Wow, did the GM really just tell his coffee-drinking assistant that he sucks as a wrestler and needs to practice? And with that being the case, why did you just book him in a wrestling match on your TV show? Shouldn’t you be booking people who don’t suck?
Friday Night Smackdown
So I guess the little ex-girlfriend has been so emotionally traumatized that now she’s going crazy. How very very snoozeworthy.
I wonder who the person was working backstage who said “You know what this Funkasaurus segment needs? A midget.”
Why in this segment talking about their ratings are they bragging about beating shows on “The History Channel” and “FOX News?” At least compare yourself to networks people take seriously.
So two new guys debut on the show, beat the Samoan tag team, and following the match one announcer says “Well, it might not have been pretty at all times, but a win nonetheless.” Why the hell would you have your announcer call attention to the fact that your new tag team just looked awful in their debut match?
What’s the point of emphasizing the fact that the Mexican aristocrat with the nice car is now a “Smackdown” guy when this show has had several people that were also on RAW?
Wow, Steve Urkel has an upcoming game show on Syfy that will be the first game show ever competed entirely in the dark. That looks…awful.
IMPACT Wrestling
“I want the first title shot.” “No, I was here first, I should get it. Finders keepers!” Great way to showcase the top guys on your show.
Why the hell are they continually bleeping some guy’s last name?
So during the match the announcers billed as a “wrestling purist’s dream” and a PPV quality match,” the video feed cut out after about a minute, we went to commercial, then we came back and saw about thirty seconds more and then a bullcrap ending. Awesome.
So Hulk Hogan’s big announcement is that wrestlers need to be ready to wrestle because once a month they’re going to have “Open Fight Night” when wrestlers might get called to the ring to wrestle? Um, isn’t wrestling kind of their job? This seems like Roger Goodell calling a players meeting and telling them that from now on, they’d better be ready to play football on Sundays because they might have to.
And now in addition to repeatedly losing the video feed the audio now doesn’t match. Whoops.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
It’s a really bad sign when fans at a Ring of Honor show are doing WWE crowd chants.
Um, is the fat scraggly dude supposed to look tough by beating up a cardboard cutout with the GM’s picture on it?
Why the hell would they go to commercial in the middle of a 10-count in a Last Man Standing match? That’s like going to commercial when the referee’s on 2 in his 3-count in a basic match. You’re basically telling your viewers “Yeah, this is just for show anyway, we all know he’s going to make the 10 count so whatever, watch some commercials.”
And then for the very next 10-count, the fat scraggly dude was was still on the ground at 7, so the camera panned to the crowd to get some crowd reaction shots rather than actually show us if he got up or not. That would be like the crew on “Monday Night Football” showing the quarterback doing the snap count, then panning to the crowd as the ball is snapped on a 4th and goal from the 1-yard line so you don’t get to actually see the play. For a company with a weekly TV show, these people don’t seem to know anything about how to put together a TV show.
And why the hell would they bleep a “Holy Sh*t!” crowd chant when earlier in the show they didn’t bleep a “F*ck him up!” crowd chant?
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 5 Most 3 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 1 Most 5 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 6 Most 2 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 0 Most 2 Least
