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If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
So the guy with the arm brace says “What I have to say, I’ll say in a second in front of the whole world.” Um, what about those rolling TV cameras? That doesn’t count as being said in front of the whole world?
I’m glad the announcer just pointed out to me that a courtroom is a lot different than a wrestling ring, because having been born yesterday, if he didn’t point that out, I may not have known.
Thank God the GM interrupted this match with the two big lumbering stiffs because I about fell asleep.
Okay never mind, now this one big lumbering stiff has been bawling like a little girl forever, can we have that crappy boring match again?
Forget the big crybaby apologizing to the GM, I want them both to apologize to me for this segment.
After the big guy crying segment, when the announcer said “I’m going to say what everyone in the arena, and everyone watching at home is thinking,” I thought he was going to say “Damn, that segment was horrible!”
And they went immediately from that to the Funkasaurus. What a natural transition.
So all night long they’ve been talking about what a super awesome person the guy in jorts is, and had a video about how he works with kids for Make-A-Wish, then he comes out and in ten seconds he’s annoyed the piss out of me with his overacting and I want him off my TV. Way to kill a good impression.
If the GM is able to fire anyone he doesn’t like for any or no reason, why did he just stand there and let the guy in jorts rip him apart instead of firing him too?
The board of directors doesn’t approve of the job the GM is doing, so they’re going to fire him….if he loses a wrestling match? Really? Because at my job, if the boss doesn’t approve of the job you’re doing, he just fires you.
Friday Night Smackdown
Is it really necessary to plug that the GM’s music is available for purchase on iTunes when it sucks and everybody hates him anyway? Who’s going to buy that?
I love the “Smackdown Captivates Women” factoid where they’re trying to imply that women enjoy WWE more than traditional women’s networks. First, they say more women watch “WWE” (not RAW or Smackdown) than any show on those networks, which means they’re double-counting any women who watch multiple WWE shows. Second, they’re comparing those inflated numbers to single shows on networks that are known more for genre programming than they are for specific high-drawing shows. Third, I find it interesting that one of the leading women’s networks (Lifetime) is conspicuously absent.
It’s really hard to take this guy seriously as an “intellectual savior” when he has a mullet.
The WWE championship is the “Holy Grail of professional sports?” Really? I think the Lombardi trophy would have something to say about that.
But for the sake of argument, if it really is the Holy Grail of professional sports, why is the WWE champion buried in the middle of the show and made to clearly be less important than the evil GM?
The Sunday pre-show match on Youtube and Facebook is the Jersey Shore wannabe who got his ass kicked by the “YES!” guy, against the masked guy who went toe to toe with the WWE champion before killing him with a chair. Why would I go to Youtube or Facebook to see something so one-sided?
So the big guy crying segment on Monday was such compelling TV I have to watch it again tonight? Yay.
IMPACT Wrestling
The champ wants M&Ms for his party, and he specifies he wants them to be green and not chocolate. Who wants to be the one to tell him that all M&Ms are chocolate, including the green ones?
So they make a big deal about how championships get defended on TV on Open Fight Night and it’s a rare thing, and in the next breath they announce how the women’s championship will be defended later in the show and nobody says a second word about it being a championship defended on TV.
Wait, the Bully guy lost his match at the PPV and he’s in a 1 on 1 title qualifying match against a hurt opponent, and the guy who he lost to at the PPV gets put in the title qualifying battle royal where he has to beat a bunch of people? That doesn’t seem very fair.
A Kardashian reference? Really? I can’t even get away from the freaking Kardashians on a wrestling show?
This douchey-looking kid with the sideburns has obviously never been in a real fight before, because every fake punch he throws he tries to make a fully wound-up haymaker that takes a long time to throw, and if you tried that in a real fight, you’d be on your ass before it landed.
If this guy was banging the owner lady in a hotel, how did they not notice some creep recording them?
And why would the owner lady just let them show an incriminating video on her TV show without even attempting to stop them?
Just how many signs did these attention whores in the front row bring with them? I swear they’ve had a different sign every segment.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
Why is Ring of Honor showing a match from a rival wrestling company on their one hour of weekly TV? It’s a nice gesture for sure, it just doesn’t seem to make a lot of business sense to limit your own time on your already limited TV allotment to show a competitor’s product. Especially when that product features a match between “The Ice Creams” and “The Ants.” Not exactly something I can take seriously.
Even the announcer for this Chikara company wears a mask? That’s kind of creepy.
Actually this whole Chikara match comes off like some weird, creepy, Cirque-du-Soleil crap.
They’ve already made mention of the fact that they had a PPV last night, because they keep telling you to order the replay. And I understand that this is a taped show, but having the announcers constantly talking about a PPV that has already happened as if it’s in the future makes you look very second rate.
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Monday Night RAW
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 5 Most 5 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 2 Most 6 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 7 Most 3 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 2 Most 2 Least
