He did come up with one good idea, which was to turn the Bushwhackers back into the Sheepherders and make them vicious heels (which I'll steal and do differently than he did), but most of his ideas were really bad. So, I will now make my first (and probably only) attempt to rebook a scenario that was already on Guest Booker as I book the WWF in 1993...HARDCORE!
Just to give you the parameters I'm working with here, I'll pretend I was handed the book the day before King of the Ring 1993, and will book through to Survivor Series 1993. Since they had thrown out the elimination match concept for Survivor Series 92, I'll do that again this year and turn it into a show full of hardcore gimmick matches. The tagline will be "Who will be able to survive the Survivor Series?" That probably sounded a lot better in my head than it does on your screen, but whatever. I'm going to keep everything the same at KOTR 93 as it happened in real life, except for one change I'll get to right now.
Bret Hart vs Yokozuna
Just to refresh you on where we were at this point, Bret had the title stolen from him at Wrestlemania 9 when Mr Fuji threw salt in Bret's eyes and allowed Yokozuna to pin him for the title. Hulk Hogan came out immediately afterward and beat Yokozuna in an impromptu match, then they did a rematch at KOTR where Hogan lost the title and disappeared from the company for a decade. That all stays the same.
What will change is that I won't have Jerry Lawler attack Bret after he wins the KOTR tournament, and that entire feud will never happen. Instead, I'm going to steer Bret into the main event of Summerslam and have him challenge Yokozuna in a Wrestlemania rematch. Bret once again has Yokozuna going and is getting close to beating him, Fuji tries using the salt again but Bret is prepared this time and dodges the salt, then goes after Fuji. Cornette tosses Yokozuna his tennis racket while Bret and the referee are sidetracked with Fuji, and Yokozuna uses it to nail Bret and set him up for the Banzai Drop and the win.
Yokozuna will refuse to face Bret again after that since he's already beaten him twice, and this leads to Owen Hart coming out to call Yokozuna a coward. Owen challenges Yokozuna to a match, saying that if he won't face Bret, then he'll hand Yokozuna a beating for his brother. Owen is nobody at this point, so Yokozuna easily beats him and continues attacking him after the match is over, drawing the ire of Bret.
In response to Yokozuna's continued efforts to hurt and embarrass everyone he gets in the ring with, WWF President Jack Tunney will announce that Yokozuna has to face Bret one more time, with the title on the line, in a No Holds Barred match. Tunney also makes one final decree: Bret will have Owen in his corner to watch Fuji and Cornette and make sure they don't get involved again.
Mr Perfect & 123 Kid vs Shawn Michaels & Diesel
In the real world, Perfect challenged Shawn for the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam 93, and got counted out after Diesel rammed him into a ringpost. Perfect attacked Diesel after the match, but got knocked out by Diesel's killer right hand. That will all stay the same, and the knockout will build to an eventual Diesel-Perfect match.
We'll move forward and have Shawn defend the Intercontinental Title against the 123 Kid on Raw, and once again Shawn is in trouble when Diesel knocks the Kid out and allows Shawn to beat him. They decide to beat Kid up some more after the match, and Perfect runs in to make the save, but gets knocked out again.
After another couple of weeks, I have Diesel wrestling the Kid on TV and easily manhandling him. They end up on the floor and Perfect runs out in street clothes with his fists taped. He comes up behind Diesel, spins him around, and knocks his lights out. Diesel goes down and Kid makes it back into the ring and wins by countout.
Diesel is pissed and embarrassed that he got knocked out, and Perfect says if he wants to settle this once and for all, he'll see Diesel at Survivor Series in a Taped Fist Match. We'll also make a Shawn/Kid rematch for the Intercontinental Title at Survivor Series, no stipulation other than the title being on the line.
Bushwhackers Heel Turn
Coming out of King of the Ring 93, Money Inc are the champions and though the Steiners were their main challengers, we had a few other teams in the mix as well. What we're going to do is have the fans do a write-in campaign type deal (remember, this was years before people were on the internet in any significant numbers) and have the fans decide who they want to see get the title shot. The Bushwhackers come out all wild and wooly when Mean Gene prepares to read the winners, who turn out to be the Steiners. The Bushwhackers seem a bit surprised, but act like they're happy for the Steiners.
Before we get to the Steiners' title shot (which will happen on Raw), we'll have one of them, Scott let's say, work a knee injury during a match against the Headshrinkers. It'll be bad enough that they have to pull out of the title shot, so we now have to go to the runners up in the write in campaign. The Bushwhackers come out all wild and wooly expecting to be the new challengers, but Mean Gene has to break it to them that the Smoking Gunns were ahead of them as well and they will get the title shot. The Bushwhackers don't bother to hide their surprise at this one and ask Gene if he's serious, but Gene assures them that he is.
I have the Gunns beat Money Inc for the title, and the Bushwhackers come out all wild and wooly to celebrate with them...before turning on the Gunns and attacking them in the most brutal way imaginable. We're talking choking with the ropes, eye gouging, a couple dozen chairshots, and blood. The Bushwhackers are suddenly not wild and wooly anymore, and they look out at the fans in disgust and mouth off to hopefully crying children on their way to the back.
When the Bushwhackers come out the next week to explain their actions, they say that they did it all for the fans, but the fans didn't take care of them in return. Deep down, they're vicious and vile savages who have been putting on a clown act for five years, but now that the fans have turned their backs on them, they've unleashed the real Bushwhackers on the WWF, and the Smoking Gunns will live to regret it. After they get done cutting that promo, I'm going to send their old friend Jamison out to try and reason with the Bushwhackers, tell them they're all wrong, and that the fans really do love them. The Bushwhackers beat him down as well and cement that they're going to go through everyone in their paths by any means necessary.
We get to Summerslam where the Bushwhackers do a real number on one of the Gunns, let's make it Bart, and Billy has to go most of the match by himself. A bloody, broken Bart finally drags himself onto the ring apron after Billy has taken a beating for like ten minutes and tags himself in, but he's got nothing left and the Bushwhackers tear through Bart and pin him to win the title.
Now we build to the Bushwhackers and Steiners at Survivor Series, and we bring the Steiners back from the worked injury by having them beat the Headshrinkers at Summerslam to set them up as the next challengers. A couple of weeks before Survivor Series, I have the Steiners wrestle Money Inc on Raw, and the Bushwhackers run in and attack the Steiners. Money Inc is scared of the Bushwhackers as well and they back off and let them do whatever they want to the Steiners, and that involves tying Rick in the ropes while working over Scott's bad knee with chairs.
This leads us to Survivor Series where Scott assures us he'll be ready to compete, and now the match will not only be for the WWF Tag Team Title, but chairs will be legal as well.
Crush & Macho Man vs Triple Doink
Crush had been having a rough year in 1993: he started by getting put out with a concussion by Doink and his loaded prosthetic arm, then he lost to Doink at Wrestlemania 9 when a second Doink came out from under the ring and attacked him. At King of the Ring, Crush was getting ready to put Shawn Michaels away and win the Intercontinental Title when the Double Doinks came out and distracted him, allowing Shawn to hit the superkick and get the win. If you fast forward a few weeks, Crush's buddy Macho Man Randy Savage was getting ready to face Doink when he was confronted by three of them. The Triple Doinks were an awesome angle that for some reason was never paid off, so we're going to do it now!
Instead of a Macho Midget, I'll have Crush watching Savage's back in that match, and he'll take out one of the other Doinks, but the third will get by him and help the first beat Savage. This will set up Savage and Crush against two of the Doinks at Summerslam, and of course the third one will be under the ring switching in and out with whichever one is in trouble. Eventually the referee will catch on and DQ the Doinks when all three get in the ring and beat Savage and Crush down.
Savage & Crush will come out on Raw all pissed off and saying that this needs to come to an end, so they want all three Doinks at the same time in a steel cage at Survivor Series. They're willing to take the 3-on-2 odds if it means having all three of them where Savage & Crush can see them, as well as keeping out any other Doinks they may not have brought out yet. Yeah, I like having logical reasons for doing handicap matches other than an evil GM.
Undertaker vs Mr Hughes
Mr Hughes came to the WWF in 1993 and made an impact by attacking the Undertaker, stealing the urn, and taking Paul Bearer out. Undertaker eventually won the feud with Harvey Wippleman's crew by beating Giant Gonzalez at Summerslam, but never had a PPV showdown with Hughes. Well, now he's going to get one.
Undertaker still beats Gonzalez at Summerslam, but Hughes comes out after the match and lays Undertaker again before stealing the urn back from Paul Bearer. Over the next several weeks, Undertaker will start to play mind games with Hughes. First, the lights go out after a Hughes match, and when they come back up, Gonzalez is in a casket at ringside. A week later, the lights go out again, and when they come back up, Harvey Wippleman (who was standing right next to Hughes before the lights went out) is laying motionless in a casket.
Now Hughes is by himself, and we'll let him suffer for a couple of weeks and look over his shoulder everywhere he goes. He starts to relax after not seeing Undertaker's handiwork for maybe three weeks, but then Paul Bearer comes out after one of his matches pushing a casket. Hughes sees him and has this look of anger and fear, but then the lights go out, and when they come back up, Undertaker is standing right behind Hughes. Hughes freaks and heads for the hills, while Undertaker stares him down and points at the casket. Bingo: we have ourselves a Casket Match at Survivor Series!
Tatanka vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Bam Bam Bigelow had attacked Tatanka and then insulted his heritage by cutting his magical red mohawk. Okay, I don't think it was magical, but work with me here. They never REALLY blew the feud off even though Tatanka beat Bigelow at the Royal Rumble in 94, but that was a last minute substitution. We're going to do a real blowoff here.
We make Tatanka and Bam Bam for Summerslam (singles, not the stupid six man they did in real life), and Tatanka wears a special ceremonial headdress to the ring to give him power as he tries to get revenge on Bam Bam, or something like that. Anyway, Bam Bam is ending the undefeated streak here, and in insulting fashion. He crosses the line by piledriving Tatanka on the floor or something similarly devastating, then he rolls Tatanka into the ring and covers, but pulls him up at 2. Bam Bam wants to add insult to injury, so he goes up top and hits the flying headbutt before casually covering Tatanka for the win, then he takes the headdress and sets the damn thing on fire before strolling off laughing. Tatanka finally comes to and realizes what happens and lets out something that's more like a primal scream than a war cry.
Bigelow is wrestling on Raw a few weeks later, when suddenly Tatanka brings out the entire Lumbee Indian tribe to surround the ring. He says that Bam Bam insulted their heritage and will pay, but he's giving him a choice: either face Tatanka at Survivor Series, or deal with the entire Lumbee nation right now. Bigelow quickly agrees to face Tatanka, but Tatanka says there's one more thing. Now chief Jay Strongbow comes out of the back and hands Tatanka his trusty old leather strap, and Tatanka informs Bigelow that their match at Survivor Series will be an Indian Strap Match!
Survivor Series 1993
There's your build, and here's your card:
-WWF Title Match, No Holds Barred: Yokozuna (w/ Jim Cornette & Mr Fuji) vs Bret Hart (w/ Owen Hart)
-Taped Fist Match: Mr Perfect vs Diesel
-Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels vs 123 Kid
-Handicap Cage Match: Triple Doinks vs Macho Man & Crush
-Tag Team Title Match, Chairs Are Legal: Bushwhackers vs Steiners
-Strap Match: Tatanka vs Bam Bam Bigelow
-Casket Match: Undertaker vs Mr Hughes
-Elimination Match: Smoking Gunns & Men On A Mission vs Money Inc & Headshrinkers
We have an impromptu start to the show when Mr Perfect comes out in jeans, a t-shirt, and taped fists to interrupt Howard Finkel's introduction of the scheduled opening match. He calls Diesel out and Diesel powerwalks out to face him. Shawn tries to stop Diesel, but Diesel shoves Shawn out of the way and goes after Perfect. This is just a straight up bar fight, and Diesel gets a lot of hard shots in and has Perfect in trouble, but Perfect fights back and rocks Diesel before knocking him out for the win. Diesel is out cold and may have a concussion, so he's wheeled into am ambulance and taken away for observation, so now he won't be at ringside later in the evening when Shawn defends the title.
We calm things down a bit after that, and move on to the Casket Match. People love them, but if you've seen one Casket Match, you've seen them all. Undertaker wins, then we move on to the strap match. Bigelow starts to get the advantage, but then the Lumbee tribe comes back out and surrounds the ring. What I'm going for here is something kind of like when Rocky Balboa fought Tommy Gunn on the street with the crowd of people around them in the fifth movie, and I'm hoping that all the Indians at ringside pounding on the ring apron and doing a war cry for Tatanka will add a lot of heat to the situation. Bigelow almost wins, but Tatanka gets to the fourth corner to get the win, then just starts lashing the crap out of Bigelow with the strap. Bigelow tries to escape to the floor, but finds himself in the middle of the Indian tribe, all of whom brought their own handy-dandy leather straps. Bigelow runs for his life and gets lashed even worse on his way through the tribe as he makes his escape to the back.
Now we set up the steel cage for Savage & Crush vs the Triple Doinks, and the Doinks have the advantage, but Savage & Crush fight them with a fury and are actually able to hang okay now that they can keep their eyes on all three at once. Oh, but remember that "keep any other Doinks they have out" part of the cage stipulation? Well, three more Doinks will come out from the crowd and try to get in the cage, Crush will climb to the top and fight two of them off, then pick the third up and press slam him onto the two on the floor. That may be a bit much to ask of them, but what the hell, I'm making the whole thing up, so physics be damned. Crush goes back to help Savage polish off the three in the ring, and finally makes one of them submit to the head vice.
We go to intermission (or backstage interviews, whatever) as they take the cage down, then we come back with the elimination match. No real story here, I just threw it on to have one since this IS the Survivor Series. I'll probably have the Gunns survive, but it doesn't really matter.
Okay, time to get back to the good stuff: Bushwhackers and Steiners for the tag title, chairs are legal. Bushwhackers outbrawl the Steiners and go after Scott's knee again with a chair, then they tie Rick up in the ropes and beat him bloody with chairs while Scott is down. They're not even paying attention to Scott since they think his knee is too badly hurt to make him a threat, but Scott manages to come up behind one of the Bushwhackers (let's make it Luke) and suplex him in such a way that he lands headfirst on the chair, knocking him out. He goes at it with Butch, and finally manages to free Rick and together they're able to work Butch over and destroy him with chairs until he's bleeding everywhere as well. They go for the bulldog off of Scott's shoulders (with a brief "can his knee handle it" moment) and Rick bulldogs Butch onto a chair and pins him to win the title.
Back to some regular old wrestling in the semi-main event, as Shawn Michaels now has to go it alone against the 123 Kid. Shawn still manages to control most of the match, but Kid cleans his clock with a leg lariat and then leaps onto Shawn's shoulders and gets a victory roll to win the Intercontinental Title. Mr Perfect comes out to celebrate as a defeated Shawn slinks back to the dressing room.
Time for the main event, as Bret Hart gets one last crack at Yokozuna and the WWF Title in a No Holds Barred Match. EVERYTHING finds its way into the match: chairs, chains, microphone cables, and Bret does one of his top notch bladejobs to really drive home the brutality at play. Finally Bret gets ahold of a chair and starts destroying Yokozuna with it. Fuji tries to interfere and Owen takes him out, but then Cornette sneaks in and tries to hit Bret with his racket while Owen is tied up on the floor with Fuji. Bret dodges and Cornette nails Yokozuna, Bret takes Cornette out, then Owen takes Fuji's Japanese flag and tosses it in to Bret, who comes off the second rope and breaks the flagpole over Yokozuna's head, knocking him out. Bret covers to regain the WWF Title, and everyone goes home happy.
* * *
Except for WWF management, that is. Frankly, I'm surprised they let me do any of this stuff to begin with, and they grab me the second the show goes off the air to tell me that nothing like this is EVER happening again, but it was nice while it lasted.
What did you think of a Hardcore Survivor Series 1993? Let me know by writing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.