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If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
This champion comes off very odd. In his opening talk, he was coming across very creepy in a super-intelligent serial killer kind of way, but when he walked up the aisle repeating “Respect” over and over, he suddenly reminded me of Ali G.
Nothing tells your viewing audience that what you’re showing on live TV isn’t important like having another person come out and tell them to hurry up and finish their wrestling match so she can talk.
If the Divas champ is so insulted by the “Excuse Me” lady’s announcement overshadowing her match, then why doesn’t she do or say something about it instead of quietly sulking off like a grounded child?
I get that the “Excuse Me” lady is a bitch, so people don’t like her, but how does that make it okay for the skipping GM to attack her? Especially considering this is the same show where everybody is saying the WWE champ is such a dick because he kicked the Southern announcer.
God I hope this is the only “Anger Management” segment, because it’s terrible.
The announcer just said that “The Marine 3” will be even bigger than “The Marine.” That’s pretty impressive. but what the hell is “The Marine?”
Dammit, not only was that first anger management segment not the only one on the show, but the next one was even worse. Including the fact that this guy went to his session in full wrestling gear, including his two masks. That’s great. Totally realistic.
So the “NO!” guy is in therapy because he gets pissed off when people make fun of him, but the guy who’s walking around laughing and joking with an invisible child is roaming the streets free?
Why did the two announcers both stand at attention for “The Game”’s entrance? Is he a judge?
So let me get this straight. People weren’t sure whether “The Game” was going to retire or not so he got a half hour to stand in the ring and cry like a little girl, and he didn’t even say whether he was retiring or not, yet the guy who was put into a match last week with his WWE contract on the line and lost, wasn’t even allowed to come out this week and wave goodbye to the fans?
If the Southern announcer doesn’t normally wrestle on the show and didn’t want to fight the champion, why did he bring his wrestling gear to the show?
If they’re going to attempt to name-drop celebrities, they should probably at least get their names right. I’m sure Halle Berry isn’t overly thrilled about being called “Holly” repeatedly by the announcer.
Why is the announcer in the main event pulling down his singlet strap so we can see his big man boobs?
Friday Night Smackdown
Did I just hear that these two girls are having a match because they’ve been arguing on Twitter? That sounds unbelievably uninteresting.
Did I just hear the Smackdown GM criticize the RAW GM on TV? That seems a bit unprofessional.
Why is it on both WWE shows the exact same scene happens at least 2-3 times? Someone is babbling about nothing in the ring, then someone else interrupts them, comes halfway down the ring, and spews a bunch of kiddie insults. Then, one person challenges the other to a fight, the other laughs at them, spews more kiddie insults, and refuses to fight. Then, the GM comes out and “spontaneously” books a match between the two because “that’s what the WWE Universe wants to see” and the mouth-breather half of the audience who actually is surprised by this development (most of them sounding like kids) cheers, while the other half sits on their hands looking bored. Don’t they ever change up their formula? Are they actually happy with only half of their audience being entertained, or are they afraid that their audience will be scared if they don’t see the EXACT SAME THING EVERY TIME?
Speaking of doing the same exact things on both shows, it’s bad enough that a third of Smackdown is recaps of RAW, but when the “new” stuff is almost an exact duplicate of what happened on RAW (such as people yelling about “respect” in matches and wrestlers doing “shocking” things like beating up announcers, it really feels like I just watched the same show twice.
IMPACT Wrestling
I love how the champ is holding his microphone with his “injured” hand.
I sure hope the Cowboy guy got a valid picture ID from the fan at ringside whose mouth he poured beer into.
If the Gut Check judges are criticizing this guy for showing up for his tryout match out of shape after sending them “dated” photos and tapes, what does that say about them for giving a tryout match on live TV to someone without seeing them to know what type of shape they’re in?
And after all three of them crapped all over the guy for showing up out of shape and having a terrible match, did they really then start talking about how they’re going to “have an open mind” about the guy because he’s got an interesting life story because he comes from a troubled neighborhood and has a lot of mouths to feed? They totally just made him into a welfare case and implied that viewers would be sympathetic to someone who sucks at their job, doesn’t put effort in, but gets rewarded because they’re poor and can’t support their kids. I’m kind of insulted by that, because if anything, I would root AGAINST the guy because he’s a welfare case who didn’t deserve a contract, but got one because he’s poor. Sorry, but I really don’t like people who suck and who don’t put forth effort getting handouts.
Okay I take that back, because they actually pretty much put the guy in his place on live TV. I especially liked the guy who said “It’s time to wake up from the dream, this business is not for you.” Cold.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
What does it say that a taped show that is scheduled to come on at 12:04 AM starts 8 minutes later because “Cash Explosion” ran over, and the network decides to join said “taped show” already in progress because they don’t think those first eight minutes are important enough to show?
I’d be more impressed with guys jumping over or through the ropes to land on an opponent to the outside of the ring if that same move wasn’t done 2-3 times per match.
When wrestlers tell their boss to shut up, do they get written up for insubordination?
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 5 Most 12 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 4 Most 11 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 16 Most 4 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 6 Most 4 Least
