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If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
Why is the crowd cheering for the champ for beating up an old announcer?
I’m confused. When asked how he feels on the inside in anger management, the masked guy said (in an extremely overdramatic way) “You want to know how I feel on the inside?” And then he lit a trash can on fire. So he feels like a trash can on fire? Is he trying to say he feels like hot crap?
And what does a trust fall have to do with anger management?
Okay, after all the obnoxiously unfunny anger management vignettes, the champ refusing to fight because he’s taking the day off for labor day actually was pretty funny.
How does the GM of the show not know the guy doing backstage interviews? Nothing like a boss who genuinely cares about her employees.
For the #RAWactive match with the two guys from the anger management vignettes, can I write in a Twitter vote to never see any of those God-awful crappy vignettes ever again?
All these promos for the Judge Dredd remake remind me how much better action movies used to be.
People actually voted to watch two grown men hug? I’m calling shenanigans on that. And why the hell is there a referee for that?
I might feel sorry for the GM’s world crashing in around her if she would bother to learn all the “little people’s” names.
Why is the rich Mexican guy talking smack into the microphone during his match instead of trying to win the match?
Friday Night Smackdown
If the Harvard lawyer guy is so smart, why is he holding his coffee cup completely horizontally as he’s walking toward the ring? His coffee is going to spill everywhere and then he’ll be thirsty.
Why are so many people threatening to sue the various wrestling companies this week?
Why do so many people have their little catch-phrases written on their shorts? Are they afraid they’re going to forget them?
Why are people booing the guy who looks like Jesus with a mullet just because he suggested people read a book instead of Tweet, and that people who insult others through social media are cowards? Those are both very true statements.
So the Viper guy was so pissed off at that guy insulting Twitter that he demanded the GM cancel his scheduled match just so he could fight the Twitter-basher? If he’s getting so upset that he feels compelled to defend Twitter’s honor, then perhaps he stop Tweeting and read a book instead.
What does it say when you’re showing a 3-way #1 contender’s match for the tag team championships, and not one of the three teams is important enough to have their ring entrances shown? Especially considering the tag champs’ entrances were shown and they’re just sitting at ringside arguing with the loud announcer and talking to imaginary children.
Why are they acting like putting the lawyer in a match with the world heavyweight champion is a punishment? Shouldn’t everybody on the roster WANT to be in a match with the champion? I don’t think I’ve ever heard a boxer or MMA fighter complain about being forced to have a match with the champion of their respective sport.
Why didn’t the GM ban the champ’s finishing move BEFORE the match started instead of changing the rules mid-match? You don’t hear NFL referees announcing in the third quarter of a football game that a previously legal move will result in a penalty for the rest of the game.
IMPACT Wrestling
Why is Hulk Hogan encouraging the champ to break some guy’s leg from the biker gang? Didn’t he learn anything from the New Orleans’ Saints bounty scandal about intentionally trying to injure people? Roger Goodell would not approve.
Nice, we went from a really hokey backstage segment with Hulk Hogan, to a really hokey backstage segment with his failed pop-singer daughter in consecutive segments. You can tell who taught her how to act and spew corny, out-dated dialogue.
Hulk Hogan and the champ probably shouldn’t be beating up and torturing a guy who’s tied up right in front of a live camera. Especially considering there’s already been one lawsuit threatened tonight because of a TNA employee touching a non-employee.
Did the announcers just call these guys the “World Tag Team Champions of the World?” Redundant much redundant?
If Hulk Hogan gets paid either per segment he’s in, or per corny 80’s-sounding thing he says, he’ll be a rich man after tonight because his corny ass has been on nonstop.
Um, did the champ just say he’s “tired of getting rail-roaded from behind?” I’m not going near that one.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
They should probably stop showing close-up shots of the crowd sitting on their hands looking bored.
Ironically, I typed that just before the crowd REALLY got into it when the guy with the corn rows who talked about being too nice to get a title shot just kicked his opponent in the balls and then attacked the referee.
Which is strangely fitting that the crowd really got into that, because they’ve been cheering for some really messed-up stuff this week, like attacking old men, jumping people from behind, full-on torture, and the champ “getting rail-roaded from behind.”
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch Monday Night RAW.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 6 Most 12 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 4 Most 12 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 16 Most 4 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 6 Most 4 Least
