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If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
In light of the heart attacked suffered by Jerry Lawler on RAW, I decided not to critique RAW this week, as I felt it would be inappropriate considering the serious situation. Along with everyone else, I’d like to wish Jerry a full and speedy recovery.
Friday Night Smackdown
Why did this guy who’s talking about the pasty redhead’s finisher via satellite need shoulder surgery because he got kicked in the face?
I’m really shocked that they’re bragging about RAW being the “most socially active show on Monday” considering that an announcer having a heart attack on live TV was the thing people were talking about the most.
Why are all the guys who wanted a 1 on 1 shot at the Intercontinental title so happy about getting put in a 4-way match for the title where they have to beat three other guys instead of one?
How exactly are jokes about how “squeezing balls” lowers your stress level and whose balls are bigger considered TVPG? If they’re going to push their PG boundaries, shouldn’t it at least be funnier and less predictable than that?
In the first segment, the pasty redhead took the lawyer guy’s neck brace and gave it to a little kid in the crowd. Then, in the last segment, the lawyer had it back. Did he take a souvenir away from some little kid, or did he bring a spare neck brace just in case his got stolen?
I love how the GM made absolutely sure everyone knew that he banned the pasty redhead’s finisher because he didn’t want to get sued, not because he cares about the wrestlers’ safety.
I can’t believe they didn’t have any sort of Jerry Lawler well-wishes or health update, not even a plug to check the web site for the latest news. That comes off especially cold considering that they were bragging about people talking about their show online when the thing they were talking about most was his heart attack. Not to mention, even the competition said a few kind words for him at the top of their show.
IMPACT Wrestling
That was classy of them to send well-wishes to Jerry Lawler towards the top of their broadcast considering he works for the competition when you normally wouldn’t expect to hear a competitor mentioned.
I must agree with the audience that’s telling the X-Division champion to “get a haircut.”
Why did Hulk Hogan have the “It Factor” sent to jail for interfering in a match on Sunday’s PPV, but not the other people who interfere in matches?
So since the “Phenomenal One” guaranteed to his partner that he’d win their singles match against one of the tag champs, that pretty much means he’s going to lose, right?
Nevermind, guess I was wrong. Shows you what I know.
So Hulk Hogan just told Brooke Hogan that when she’s at Impact, he doesn’t want her walking around without “at least two people,” to which she replied “Where am I going to get two people?” Don’t they work with a bunch of large men who fight for a living? Shouldn’t it be pretty easy to find a couple of them to keep an eye on her? Or do they all hate her?
Why would the guy who won a months-long tournament of 12 people for a title shot at the biggest show of the year put that title shot on the line in a match on TV just because his opponent wanted him to?
In the back room meeting with Hulk Hogan and his cronies, did someone really just suggest they “look for” the biker gang? If they’ve been harassing the crap out of this company, why would somebody just now suggest looking for them? Shouldn’t they have been doing that awhile ago?
Ring of Honor Wrestling
Um, is this guy’s name “Black Cheese?” That’s not a very good name, as cheese that has turned black is usually no longer fit for comsumption.
Why is “The Prodigy”’s manager talking with an obviously fake accent and using old-people words to try and sound older than he actually is? It’s extremely annoying and distracting.
And if “The Prodigy” was so outraged at the little guy running in and kissing his girlfriend, why was he only going half speed when he chased him around the ring, giving the little guy plenty of time to showboat and taunt him?
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 6 Most 12 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 4 Most 13 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 17 Most 4 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 6 Most 4 Least
