If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
I’m sure the NFL appreciates their logo being used on this show to poke fun at poor officiating. And why are they comparing their officiating to the NFL when the NFL has lost so much credibility? Is that really something you WANT to compare to?
And not to be technical, but if this ref was hired to help with the increased workload when the show went to three hours, he’s not a “replacement ref.” He’s just a new hire.
Ok I won’t be making fun of the anger management skits in the diner because I refused to watch them. I’ve only got about seventy years, not wasting any of it on that crap.
Why can’t all these gratuitously long talking segments be as interesting as the one with the champ and the guy in the flannel shirt?
I love how not only did some dumbass fan run into the ring during the “Feed Me More” guy’s match, but we got to see him being dragged out of the ring with his ass crack showing. So for the rest of his life, that guy will be “the guy who got dragged out of the ring with his ass crack showing on Monday Night RAW.”
Why did the GM make a point of saying that the WWE will never have instant replay like other sports? Why exactly don’t they use instant replay when they show the fans replays of every last thing that happens at least fifteen times?
How is it fair to put a ring announcer in a match when he doesn’t even have wrestling gear?
They want me to spend my time voting for a tag team name and the best options they can come up with are “Team Friendship,” “Team Hell No,” and “Team Teamwork?” Although I guarantee “Team Hell No” will win because all the kiddies will think it’s funny since it has a bad word.
Ooooh, do we get to vote on a team name for the guys that attacked the champs? I’d like to suggest Team “At Least They Don’t Subject Us to Really Lame Talking Segments and Anger Management Skits.”
Not sure who I find harder to take seriously in this match, the Funkasaurus, or the fat white guy who thinks he’s Japanese.
Just how annoying does a guy have to be to get booed while promoting cancer research?
I think “passive-aggressive weenie” just might be the best insult I’ve heard in quite awhile.
So the guy with the jorts just hit the champ in the balls with a pipe and then started talking about “real men”? How does hitting someone with a pipe make one a “real man?” I get that threatening a one-armed man isn’t the act of a “real man” either, but it just seems like a pot and kettle scenario.
Friday Night Smackdown
If the big guy is so embarrassed about having a 45-second title reign, why is he telling everyone about it?
Do they just use the exact same in-ring speeches for every single in-ring talking segment? Because it certainly sounds like the only difference in the different guys’ speeches is the names said and the names of their finishing moves when they threaten to hit them.
Did the champ really just tell the Intercontinental champ that nobody wants to pay to see him after he had just talked about his movie coming out and the book written with him as a character? Telling your audience that nobody wants to pay to see your talent is not a good way to plug their appearances that I would assume you’re hoping to get some exposure and/or revenue from.
What’s the point of lugging two couches to the ring if nobody is going to sit in them?
It’s all well and good that Smackdown has been the most watched show on SyFy for two years running, but to be fair, it’s SyFy, home of niche programming and made-for-TV movies. What real competition is there?
Hulk Hogan’s self picture on his shirt kind of looks like the Red Baron guy from the pizza boxes.
Why did Hulk Hogan just blame “the upper brass at TNA” for not renewing the TV champ’s contract, when he’s the GM? Doesn’t being GM kind of mean that HE is “the upper brass?”
Tell me Brooke Hogan did not just show up for a meeting with someone in a back hallway of all places, )which is a super place to have a meeting), then immediately say “Rule #1, I’m not late, you’re late” and then take her phone. I wish my daddy was famous so I could throw my weight around like a total bitch.
Speaking of Hogans acting like idiots, I love that some random person just went up to Hulk Hogan and said he needed to sign some papers before the end of the show, so he immediately started signing without reading them or even asking what they were. I mean it’s not like a signature is legally binding or anything.
Oooooh, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back on TV! I must watch!
Hulk Hogan looks REALLY old without his bandana on and that bald-ass head reflecting the light.
I love how they bleeped the word “crap” in the “clubhouse” scene to make it sound like the guy said the “s” word, even though you could read his leaps and you could clearly hear the that the word he said ended with the letter “p.”
Reading through this, I realized that without Hulk and Brooke Hogan, I would have had literally nothing to make fun of for this entire show, because everything else was good. That should tell them something.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
I feel really bad for the wrestlers in this company. The matches are really good when you get to see them, but kinda hard to get into the show when the network joins it “in progress” because a game show or a cop drama rerun ran over its’ allotted time and the network doesn’t think enough about the ROH show to actually broadcast the whole thing so you get half a show.
How is it that when a woman hits a man she’s in a match with, the crowd cheers, but when the man hits her back, they boo? If he was put into a match with her, what’s he supposed to do? Just stand there with his arms at his sides and get beat up?
When the hot redhead’s bra and panties were allegedly pulled off underneath the ring and given to “The Prodigy” as a distraction, why didn’t, like, EVERYBODY in the audience try to run underneath the ring to see that show? I know I would have.
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 6 Most 13 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 4 Most 14 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 19 Most 4 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 6 Most 4 Least