If I didn’t watch wrestling…
Much has been said about wrestling companies wanting to reach a bigger audience. The problem with that is they don’t seem to understand that to get a bigger audience, their product should be interesting to people who don’t normally watch it so they want to watch again. Bearing that in mind, I wonder what people who have never watched wrestling would think about this week’s shows. It might go something like this…
Monday Night Raw
Why is the champion telling his manager to tell the chairman that he wants to fight him? Why doesn’t he just pass him a note in study hall asking if he wants to fight with a “Yes” and “No” box for him to check for the appropriate response?
Somebody should tell these three guys with the leather jackets and sunglasses that the 80s called and they want their shtick back.
“Feed Me More” seems like it would be a better catchphrase for a really fat guy than a musclehead.
So now the champ’s manager is going to have a match with the chairman? Wow, I can’t wait to fast forward through that.
Why is the crowd chanting “USA” for a match between guys who were introduced as being from Switzerland and South Africa?
So they followed up the announcement of the manager vs chairman match with the announcement that the guy doing backstage interviews would be in a match? Don’t they have actual wrestlers they should be putting in these matches?
And while we’re on the subject, the interviewer kind of looks like Paul Ryan. I kind of want to ask him about his Medicare plan.
Did the announcer really just say “You don’t want to call the GM the ‘c’ word?” I’m pretty sure you don’t want to call any woman the “c word.” Especially on a TVPG show.
Why are they promoting the Intercontinental title match that’s going to happen on another show by doing the exact same match on this show? I just saw that match, why would I want to watch another show to see the same thing?
Why are they bragging about having more Twitter followers than companies like McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, and Under Armour? What kind of riveting social content does Under Armour provide that would make one want to follow them on Twitter?
What happened to the manager/chairman match they announced? Don’t get me wrong, it sounded horribly boring. But if I had actually wanted to see that and sat through three painful hours to watch it, only to not see it, I’d be pissed.
Friday Night Smackdown
I have to say “The World’s Toughest Vegan” isn’t the most intimidating moniker I’ve ever heard.
I loved the guy calling out the GM for being predictable, who then got pissed off, yet still did almost exactly what the other guy said he was going to do.
Why are they having the interviewer do an interview while the first match is going on? Is the match that unimportant?
Are the two GM assistants really arguing over who had the idea for a match that’s almost the same as the match they’ve already said has happened already on two recent shows? Why are they arguing over who’s the more uncreative and unoriginal one?
I’m glad the one assistant GM is putting back the other assistant GM’s iPad he stole on national TV so she doesn’t notice it was stolen. I’m sure nobody will see it and tell her about it.
If the biker gang has full access to the Impact Zone now after their win on Sunday, why do they need to play a pre-recorded video to tell everyone their message? Why don’t they just get a mic and say it?
And if they have full access then why do they need those silly masks?
Did this joker really just say “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Jesse from Big Brother?” First of all douche, if you have to say what show you were on, you’re not a big celebrity. Secondly, being on some contrived bullcrap reality show does not make you a celebrity. And there’s nothing “Hollywood” about it.
“We Want Cookies” might just be the best crowd chant ever. I am highly amused.
That wasn’t very nice of the champion to knock the other guy’s tray of cookies on the ground, thus rendering them inedible, after the audience clearly stated an interest in consuming those cookies. Unless of course they were able to be retrieved in the acceptable time window for the “5 Second Rule.”
Damn it. Now I want a cookie.
I love how in the Hall of Fame video package, everyone is at least sort of dressed up except for Hulk Hogan, who’s sporting a t-shirt. Did he not want to go to Sears and buy himself a big boy shirt?
Ring of Honor Wrestling
Gotta love the jerk fans who continue throwing streamers into the ring even as the ref is trying to clear them out to start the match.
Are the announcers really arguing whether “stealing kisses” from an unwilling female is actually sexual harassment or just harmless and “all in good fun”? Because it isn’t like that’s a totally sexist and backwards idea to be talking about on TV in 2012.
Oh nevermind, that actually ISN’T sexist at all compared to the English announcer’s comment a few minutes later that he’s “always wanted to see her (vulgar slang word for female genitalia that can also refer to a cat).” I find it hilarious how other companies try their best to appeal to women by doing such things as wearing pink for Breast Cancer Awareness month, and then this company is seemingly going out of their way to offend women. Seriously, how do these kinds of comments get broadcast on national TV in 2012 on a supposedly serious (and by that I mean not intended to be humorous) show? Does nobody with any intelligence do any editing at all?
And while I’m on the subject of things the English announcer probably shouldn’t be saying on TV in 2012, he probably shouldn’t be bragging about finishing matches after sustaining concussions with all we now know about concussions and their long-term effects.
The Final Verdict
Based on this week’s shows and this week’s shows only:
I would be MOST likely to tune in next week to watch IMPACT! Wrestling.
I would be LEAST likely to tune in next week to watch Friday Night Smackdown.
Running Total Score:
Monday Night Raw: 6 Most 15 Least
Friday Night Smackdown: 4 Most 15 Least
IMPACT! Wrestling: 22 Most 4 Least
Ring of Honor Wrestling: 6 Most 4 Least