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By Adam Cardoza on 11/14/2021 10:33 AM

SlapFight Championship “Redemption”


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SlapFight’s second PPV kicks off tonight, featuring another super fight, a title for title clash for the middleweight and light heavyweight titles between Coach Killa & Wolverine…which is also a “Loser leaves SlapFight” match. Also we crown a new #1 contender at light heavyweight with a one night 8-man tournament. It takes a sheer force of will to be competitive in this sport and we have some huge clashes on the card tonight. Jason Jones is your announcer. JT Tilley is your commentator. Let’s go!

Fight 1: Battle Axe vs Bayou Bastard (1st round)

Battle Axe is a competitive axe-thrower. Bayou Bastard is a SlapFight super fan who made the jump into competition several months back. Battle Axe wins the coin toss and will slap first.

Round 1: Good slap from Battle Axe. Bastard has to take a step to recover but comes right back to the barrel. Bastard swings wild and clubs to the top of the head, knocking Ace’s hat askew. Bastard is warned for the infraction. 

Round 2: Hard slap from Battle Axe but he pulls a warning for stepping. Bastard hits on point but doesn’t do much with it.

Round 3: Axe knocks the stuffing out of Bastard’s ear. Bastard returns fire and hits solid and clean.

Round 4: Axe and Bastard both trade solid shots but neither move much. Bastard picks up a warning for stepping.

Round 5: Huge shot from Axe and Bastard returns fire on point as we cross the halfway point of the fight.

Round 6: Axe lands hard but Bastard is right back to the barrel. Bastard with a great swing but Axe clearly flinches and picks up a warning for that. 

Round 7: Big shot from Axe but he steps again and will lose his turn in the next round. Bastard blasts him and knocks his hat off….and also picks up a stepping penalty. 

Round 8: Bastard takes his second slap. It’s a little high but Ace staggers.

Round 9: Axe gets this round solo too. Great slap and Bastard staggers back again.

Round 10: Axe looking intense as he fires off that last slap. Bastard takes a step back again but it’s not enough. Huge shot back from Bastard that spins the hat on Ace’s head.

This goes to the judges. Battle Axe gets the decision. Couldn’t agree more, his shots seemed heavier overall and more accurate, even if Bastard picked up some style point for knocking that hat around several times.

Winner: Battle Axe

Fight 2: The Butcher vs Shamokin Thunder Clap (1st round)

A battle of SlapFight newcomers between two marines. Thunder wins the coin toss.

Round 1: Big shot from Thunder Clap and Butcher falls back hard! He’s not out though but looks unsteady. Thunder picks up a warning for stepping. Butcher takes his shot…and karate chops Thunder’s neck. A clear warning for clubbing here. The ref has to explain WHY that’s illegal.

Round 2: Another big shot from thunder and Butcher is staggered but doesn’t fall. Butcher actually slaps this time but still catches the neck and draws a penalty for clubbing again. Jeez…

Round 3: Thunder swings hard and Butcher goes down again. He’s not able to pop back up this time and the ref calls it a KO. 

Here’s a great example of why training and understanding the rules of a sport are SUPER important.

Winner: Shamokin Thunder Clap

Fight 3: White Simba vs Young James (1st Round)

The veteran and former champ Young James is our tournament favorite but he has a tall test against the 6’5” former tennis pro White Simba. Young James failed to make weight for the tournament so he automatically loses the possibility of taking the first slap in all his fights tonight. 

Round 1: Simba with a loud crack across the jaw. Great speed and power on it and a unique style coming from that tennis background but he picks up a stepping violation. Young James is using the technique that Wolverine introduced last PPV! Apparently it’s called the Axe Handle. The shot looks a little high but Simba falls back into the arms of his cornerman. He’s still up though.

Round 2: Simba waits his full 60 seconds before firing off a huge slap that knocks the hat of James’ head and sends him to the floor. James throwing a thumbs up and gets back to his feet as Simba picks up another stepping violation and loses his slap next round. This could be real bad. James collects himself and goes back to the axe handle. He clubs Simba in the neck but Simba sure looked like he flinched.

Round 3: Young James gets his second slap in a row. It’s a good slap but White Simba takes it. I think he knows what’s coming now.

Round 4: White Simba drops Young James again! Young James is definitely KO’d after that. 

Wow. Young James has had wars before but I can’t think of anyone who put him down so quickly. White Simba just made a statement in 3 slaps.

Winner: White Simba

Fight 4: Johnny Juice vs Leadbelt Chapman (1st round) 

Lot of newcomers in this tournament! Leadbelt wins the coin toss.

Round 1: Leadbelt win a clubbing violation right away. Good slap from Juice but he picks up a stepping violation.

Round 2: Leadbelt hits hard and it’s almost a club. Juice fires back HARD and Leadbelt staggers.

Round 3: Leadbelt hits his first clean shot and Juice is staggered hard. Juice with another banger and Leadbelt has to take a few steps.

Round 4: Leadbelt is overexcited and fires low, drawing a clubbing penalty. He looks to be nursing his elbow. Juice uncorks another huge slap and Leadbelt goes down hard. Leadbelt is back to his feet but doesn’t want another one of those and concedes.

Winner: Johnny Juice

Fight 5: Battle Axe vs Shamokin Thunder Clap (semifinals)

This fight is immediately cancelled as the doctor’s rule Battle Axe unable to compete, giving Shamokin Thunder Clap the victory by forfeit. This happens a lot in these tournaments but I’m a little surprised they didn’t have an undercard replacement. 

Winner: Shamokin Thunder Clap

Fight 6: White Simba vs Johnny Juice (semifinals)

Wow, Simba is tall compared to his opponent. Both guys coming off impressive KO’s. Juice wins the coin toss! 

Round 1: Juice swings hard and Simba falls into the arms of his cornerman (like last fight). Juice picks up a stepping violation. Simba winds up his discus style slap…and Johnny Juice goes down! He’s standing but seems out on his feet. Definitely rocked HARD. Juice back to the barrel.

Round 2: Juice swings bad and clubs Simba in the jaw. Simba is annoyed and Juice seems to be favoring his elbow. Juice doesn’t want another shot and throws in the towel.

Winner: White Simba

Fight 7: The Bell vs Frank the Tank

The Bell is a heavyweight boxer making his SlapFight debut tonight. To make things more fair, the experienced People’s Champ Frank the Tank will be swinging with his left hand tonight. Both guys are smiling at the barrel. Bell is pretty tall. Frank wins the coin toss!

Round 1: Frank hits hard with that left and introduces Bell to his first slap. Bell lands HARD and Frank takes a couple of steps and maybe reconsiders that left handed choice.

Round 2: Frank swings hard, connects solid and Bell staggers and stumbles after that hit. He compliments Frank before winding up. Bell fires hard again and connects solid but picks up a stepping violation.

Round 3: Frank hits hard again and Bell stumbles slightly. I think he knows what he’s in for now. Bell connects solid again and Frank stumbles back and almost falls through the backdrop. The ref and cornerman catch him. Bell picks up another stepping violation and loses a slap. 

Round 4: Frank lands another solid shot but Bell absorbs it. Did Frank just hurt his hand?

Round 5: Frank lands a bomb and Bell stumbles again but right the ship himself and gets back to the barrel. Bell is smelling blood in the water. Bell lands hard and sends Frank into his cornerman’s arms again. Bell generates another stepping violation (likely due to his boxer’s instinct to pivot into the shot) and loses another slap.

Round 6: Frank is looking a little rough and knows that if he suffers another technical knockdown (cornerman catches count as a knockdown here), he loses the fight so he HAS TO finish Bell in the next two shots. Great shot but Bell eats it and waits for another.

Round 7: Frank is landing so hard but Bell’s chin is great and absorbs it. Frank is ready at the barrel. Bell lands another bomb and Frank is off his feet and his cornerman catches him one more time. That’s it! The officials call it a TKO for Bell! What an upset!

Winner: The Bell

SlapFight: Run this back next time and see if Frank’s right hand gets the job done.

Fight 8: Shamokin Thunder Clap vs White Simba (Finals)

White Simba wins the coin toss here (personally, I think he should get the first slap anyways since Thunder Clap got a bye in the semis so I’m glad this worked out). Thunder is all smiles. Simba continues to remind me of the Kurgen from Highlander. 

Round 1: White Simba with the wild backswing slap and Thunder goes down HARD. His cornerman is working Thunder back up slowly but he’s gonna need the full 60 seconds to recover….Thunder Clap admits he doesn’t remember what just happened and the ref is forced to call it a true KO. WOW.

Tournament Winner: White Simba

I truly don’t want to see either Coach Killa or Wolverine go away because I want to see White Simba take them both on. What a debut! Simba only took five slaps though the entire tournament and calls the experience the easiest experience of his life. He DEFINITELY needs a test for that confidence.

Main Event: Coach Killa vs Wolverine (for both the Middleweight and Light Heavyweight Championships, Loser leaves SlapFight)

Coach Killa wants to get revenge for his only recorded loss. Wolverine is looking to bounce back from his recent stoppage loss to Darius the Destroyer. Again, I don’t want either of them to go. Coach Killa wins the coin toss so he takes first shot at the light heavyweight king. 

Round 1: Fist bump before we go to war. Great opening slap from Coach and Wolverine is ready to return fire. Wolverine uses a standard swing and you can tell Coach remembers that pain…but he’s still standing. 

Round 2: Coach pushes the pace and hits hard…Wolverine eats it. Wolverine swings from the earth itself and Coach goes stumbling back hard but catches himself before his cornerman can. Coach is right back to the barrel and shakes Wolverine’s hand but you can tell he’s fired the f*** up.

Round 3: Coach with a fast solid shot and Wolverine absorbs it emotionlessly. This is starting to look like a foregone conclusion unless Coach can pull off a miracle. Wolverine swings and Coach definitely flinches and picks up a warning

Round 4: Coach lands hard, the kind of slap that should put people to sleep…and Wolverine eats it. Wolverine cracks back and Coach is wincing hard from the pain.

Round 5: Coach swings hard and shakes the barrel hard by stepping. Another warning. Wolverine lands another bomb and Coach is clearly upset and trying to will himself back into the fight. He doesn’t WANT to quit clearly but he will take the full 60 seconds.

Round 6: Coach hasn’t lost any power in his shots despite being rocked. But…again, Wolverine absorbs it. Wolverine swings hard and Coach picks up another flinching violation. Oh noooooo.

Round 7: Coach realizes he’s about to take TWO consecutive shots from Wolverine. He considers and is definitely upset to throw in the towel…but he does. Coach gives a fist bump to Wolverine but he clearly looks full of regret. 

Winner (Still Light Heavyweight and New Middleweight Champion): Wolverine

SlapFight knows how to move a show along. 8 fights clocking in at a little over an hour and half, this flew by. Sad to see Coach Killa go but this does set up an intriguing showdown at Light Heavyweight between Wolverine and new monster White Simba. Simba hops onstage during Wolverine’s post match interview and reminds everyone how easy the tournament was for him. He threatens to take either or both of Wolverine’s belts. “You’ll try, buddy. You’ll try.” calmly replies the champ. I truly can’t wait for that clash. Until then!