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Pass The Mic!
I’ve realized a problem in WWE in the past year or so. Well, actually, this problem dates way further back than 2005 I’m sure, but I have just begun noticing it to a larger degree over the past year. The WWE has often stated that to be a superstar today you need to possess in ring ability, and a charisma on the mic. With that being said, it baffles my mind that The Great Khali, Sylvester
Nowhere is this more evident than in the tag team division. In fact, I believe that the lack of mic time given out to tag teams today is one of the major reasons why the division is, well, basically non existent. Booking a great tag team feud isn’t impossible. It’s not astrophysics. I believe that fan’s need there to be a conflict between two teams to get emotionally invested in the rivalry. And call me crazy, maybe I’m drunk, who knows, but I don’t get emotionally invested in the over used, “A new tag team debuts, and they want the belts†storyline. It has been used with Cade & Murdoch, The Pitbulls, KC James and Idol Stevens, and now it’s currently being used with Cryme Time.
The reason I hate this so much is because after these feuds, and I use the term “feud†loosely, the team in question is usually dead and buried. Look at the poor Highlanders for example. Who would buy them as credible contenders for the tag titles now? Not me. Let’s look at the current tag roster and see how mic time, and a good solid feud, could affect each team.
Now this is a team that is so exciting in the ring that they have been able to get over solely based on their in ring ability. But if they were ever given an in ring interview, or a backstage vignette, they could have another outlet to connect with fans. Why can’t we have a little intrigue to this team? Maybe Ashley is dating
The Pitbulls
Ok, I know that Kid Kash has been released. But if this team was just able to be the southerners that they truly are, they could have succeeded. They could have had a redneck gimmick, been given some mic time, and gotten over. If you remember, Jaime Knoble, in a similar gimmick, was actually one of the most over cruiserweights that WWE ever had. And, gasp, he was allowed to “by god†talk.
KC James and Idol Stevens
Who are you two guys? Why are you together? Why are you with Michelle McCool? Answer these questions WWE! Or better yet, let James and Stevens answer them!
The Gymini
With a mouthpiece like Simon Dean, this team should be given a chance to get over. The Gymini are big muscular dudes. Why not make them big dumb meatheads? Adding a little comedy to the gimmick wouldn’t hurt it, because Simon Dean is a borderline comedy act himself, which is unfortunate. They could wander into the women’s dressing room, thinking It’s there own. They could see the women’s clothes and just assume it’s some new training gear that Simon picked out for them. Dean would then come in and call them morons as they sit their in dresses and bra’s waiting for their match. It’d get a laugh from the crowd, and it could even somehow involve Vito. That right there would be an amusing backstage vignette, and it would elicit some kind of emotion towards this team. The loveable buffoon gimmick could easily turn them face.
Do I like this team? No. I think Charlie Hass is capable of so much more. But if they are going to have them team up, you may as well try and get them over. I know that might sound preposterous, but yes, the talent is supposed to be given a chance to get over. In the Lillian Garcia angle, we saw that Big Vis can actually be pretty damn entertaining. They could have easily done some form of angle where
Cade and Murdoch
I feel bad for these guys. I really, really feel bad for these guys. They were given a mini feud with DX, the companies golden children, but were never given the mic. Why? Well I don’t have an answer to that question. Trevor Murdoch can be very entertaining in his creepy redneck gimmick. And Lance Cade, well, he actually may have never been given any mic time in the history of his tenure with the company, so I can’t comment on his charisma. I truly believe that if these guys were able to talk, they would get over. But with the DX feud being over and the tag team division being on life support, these two will probably have a nice warm home over on Heat this winter.
The APA had their card game segments. The New Age Outlaws had The Road Doggs mic work. Edge and Christians 5 second poses and backstage vignettes were often highlights of the show. Goldust and Booker T were given weekly mic time, the movie reviews, and the break up angle. Even Chuck and Billy had their wedding angle!
Tag Teams matches in WWE today are, for the most part, just four guys in a ring. There is no emotional investment, drama, or angles. I feel bad for these wrestlers, I really do. In the WWE, tag team wrestling is an art form that is all but dead and buried. I guess if I want to see good tag team wrestling I’ll have to look toward the six sided ring.
Peter Hoare
Peter Hoare writes, directs, and performs with sketch comedy troupe Beer: The Movie, who will be releasing their second DVD via Sony on 10/31. For more information, visit www.beerthemovie.com
