Thank God for DVRÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s.
CHRIS BENOIT VS. ELIJAH BURKE
Benoit looks great in his WWECW debut, but thatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s exactly what youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d expect. Benoit will be a wonderful teacher for everyone on this brand. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s already done wonders for MVP. I think heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll do the same for Burke, Cor Von, and Punk and maybe even Miz.
STEPHANIE MCMAHON SCREECHES, SOBS, AND BORES ME TO DEATH
The girl just canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t act!!! Please stay behind the scenes, Steph. I personally donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t care for your ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œCreative talentsÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â, but if you must muck around with the wrestling biz, please do it backstage or in the boardroom. Take your pick: Mute button, Channel button, or Fast Forward. (I chose to flip channels during this segment, both on Raw and again here.)
BOOGEYMAN VS. SEAN ALEXANDER
I only noticed this while I was editing Steph off my DVR recording. On the plus side, it was short, very short. On the negative side, there was only one move during this match and even that appeared somewhat botched. Amazing!
TOMMY DREAMER VS. KEVIN THORN
This match did nothing for me. Heck, they could have used stock footage here for all I care. WeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve seen this match several times over the past year (which I suppose is what happens when you have a roster of about 10 wrestlers). The result has pretty much always been the same (Tommy may have gotten a win or two during their earliest encounters), but Kevin Thorn really doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t do it for me. Hate his presentation of the goth/vampire gimmick. His music sucks big time. And his matches are extremely bland.
FOOTAGE SHOWS THE CHARRED LIMO, SERVED EXTRA CRISPY WITH A SIDE OF CHEESE
Third such segment tonight. Umpteenth such segment over the past week, and it will only continue ad nauseum. But, please hear me McMahons, I wonÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t be watching any of these stupid replay segments, just like I didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t watch any of the 1,597,235 Condemned promos. Another time to hit the fast forward button.
JOHNNY NITRO VS. NUNZIO
Yes, heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s Nunzio this week. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s Little Guido in other weeks. How about we compromise and just call him Guidunzio? Ehh, who cares. Anyways, I enjoyed this match for what it was ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ a nice little showcase for the debuting Johnny Nitro.
COR VON GIVES HIS SARCASTIC CONDOLENCES TO ELIJAH BURKE FOR LOSING TO BENOIT
Finally a little personality for Mr. Monty Brown.
EXTREME EXPOSE GIGGLES LIKE A TRIO OF 12-YEAR-OLDS ABOUT HOW DREAMY MIZ IZ
Oh really? Personally, I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t buy goofy hooo-rah Miz as the new ECW heartthrob. Do we even need an ECW heartthrob? This segment reminded me of a Brady Bunch slumber party, where the girls are all giggling over whoeverÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s on the latest cover of ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œTiger BeatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â. (Brady Bunch slumber parties were better.)
MARCUS COR VON VS. CM PUNK
Another good match. Not great, but good. I still think both Cor Von and Punk need a lot of work before they can carry the brand. Cor Von needs to improve his wrestling skills and develop a wrestling personality. Punk just needs a personality, period.
Scary looking spot when Cor Von botched the powerslam of Punk flying off the top rope. I hope Punk gets a CAT scan to make sure he didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t break his neck on that one. Ouch!
If you edit the show down to the Benoit/Burke, Nitro/Nunzio, and Cor Von/Punk matches, you have a very enjoyable 20-minute show. Why they have to muddy it with another 40 minutes of crap, I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t know. But, thatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s why I DVR all of the WWE shows, so I can skip through the crap. I can usually finish an ECW show in 20-25 minutes, and a Raw or Smackdown in just 45-50 minutes. DVRs are great! (Get one that plays sound during double speed playback. Great for long-winded promos!)
The Mr. McMahon storylineÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
Before I get into the obvious, I just want to ask the rhetorical question: If this storyline was designed to be the end of the on-air personality that is Mr. McMahon, why did they turn him into a blithering skitzo prior to his demise? Seriously, was it done to "welcome" the end of the character?
You have a blown up limousine..
You have an attempted murder..
You have no body..
You have any number of 'suspects' all with motives.
You have a tribute on two shows.
Up to this point, you can run a "staged my own fake death" and reappear, re-packaged and with an ever broader case of "No Chance in Hell" demeanor.
You have made this a "federal" investigation. I am not a law enforcement official, but I do believe that if you fake your death, and federal agents are called in to investigate, you are now guilty of some REAL federal offense. If they don't explain the involvement of the "Federal Agent" what little believability and credibility you are trying to salvage is now gone. Seriously, he better explain ON TV that the federal agent was a prop. Period.
And if they don't go the "faked my own death" path, and determine that someone did try to blow up Mr. McMayhem, well then, there better be a real arrest. No amount of "we will settle this in the ring" is gonna convince the Feds not to prosecute the perp to the fullest extent of the law.
And lastly.. When has there EVER been a nationally televised, pre-scheduled Federal Investigation. FirstÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦ FBI guys are not supposed to be on camera. Not Ever.