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THE WRINGER RETURNS TO REVIEW RAW, VIRAL VIDEOS, AND THE CURRENT STATE OF WWE

Greetings, Wrestling Fans!  I’ve been away for a while, but I’ve returned, at least for this week, to give my thoughts on this week’s Raw, and WWE in general.  Let’s get to Wringing!

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RAW WRINGERS – NOVEMBER 29, 2007

Why didn’t Torrie just head-butt everyone with her Eagle helmet?  And why didn’t Kelly “chest-butt” everyone with her over-sized breasts?

Did I hear Shawn Michaels admit to having pin-sized grapefruits?

Why does Regal insist on calling Umaga “Umanga”?!

Why does Hornswoggle have blond hair on his head, but black facial hair?

Were you shocked that Foley didn’t come out carrying a copy of The Hardcore Diaries to shill?

When will Hornswoggle insist on being included in Vince’s Will?  Or moving into the McMansion?

Santino Marella is comedy GOLD!

“Tom Hanks with the AIDS” – not only is this in bad taste, it’s a joke that will be gotten by only those people who’ve seen (or remember/know of the subject matter of) the movie Philadelphia .

I hope the Diva Search contestants took note of the non-reaction they both got when they came out!

Wow – the fans went with the vapid brunette instead of the vapid blond!

So when the hell is Jericho debuting, anyway?!

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VIRAL VIDEOS

So for about five weeks now, we have been subjected to “viral videos”, presumably to introduce, or re-introduce us to Jericho .  The videos have only changed slightly, first depicting “save-us.222”, then “save-us.x29”.  Last night’s videos have introduced the invitation for us to “break the code”.  But they’ve been going on for so long now, do we really want to break the code?  Me, not really.  If it’s Jericho ’s return, just give me Jericho already.  And if it’s not Jericho ?...Boy, are they in TROUBLE!

This was a really creative way to reintroduce Jericho , but since word has leaked about his return, it’s put them in an impossible situation.  We know, and they know we know.  So how do they debut him?  For the best possible results, it has to be completely unexpected.  It can’t be a “mystery partner”, or a “mystery person in a limo”.  And it can’t be the viral video followed by him.  It just can’t.  So how do they do it?  Admittedly, I have no clue.  Perhaps he makes a save cloaked in a cape, only to make the dramatic reveal.  But if they wait until Survivor Series, it’ll be too late.

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WWE CREATIVE

A lot has been said on the site lately about WWE Creative, and deservedly so.  The booking has been sad, pathetic, and downright bizarre in places.  It’s no wonder the ratings are down around the ankles lately.  The solutions are simple, yet Vince and company refuse to listen.  Why?  Ego, mania, senility?  All that, and more?  Probably.  That, and a totally inept daughter that is a carbon copy of her father, and a father who refuses to see that she is hurting the company, rather than helping it.  Nothing will change until the management does, and that isn’t likely to do so anytime soon.

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NOVEMBER 1

Beginning November 1, WWE is going to start naming names.  That is, anyone who violates the Wellness Policy will be named.  This is going to be very interesting.  Will everyone who fails be named?  Will the frequency of certain people’s testing schedule be changed?  Will performers being “outed” really change their habits?  I wonder.  The next few months will be very interesting in the business.

You can send all comments, praise, and hate mail to me at:  ritingfool@cableone.net.